Deal of Derangement
by Xalis
Summary: A burst pipe floods the prince's room who just decides to claim Fran's as his own and finds himself in the blink of an eye in an unbelievebly stupid deal. Pairing: going to be B26


Hello, here's the prologue of my originally german fanfiction "Feuchte Angelegenheit-Von Rohrbrüchen und Dachschäden". I didn't come up with such an interesting title in english but the story is the same. I hope my writing style and english aren't too bad. I don't have a beta reader yet. Anyway I hope you enjoy reading the chapter.  
Yours  
Xalis  
~*+*~

**Prologue - Deal with the Devil?**

"**VROOOOOOOIIIIIII!"**

Just as always it was Squalo's annoying screaming that interrupted the dreams of the prince. And just as always I held myself back from cutting out his tongue for this torture of my royal ears. No one should have the right to wake the prince. Especially in such an unworthy way. But in this oh-so-peaceful family we weren't allowed to hurt each other irreparably. Every injurie must be curable by three months at maximum, and I doubt that the tongue of our shark would grow again that fast.  
So the prince had to forbear from doing so. I didn't wish for trouble with the boss anyway.  
Mumbling I turned my back on Squalo again and tried to continue my precious sleep, but something caught my attention. The sound of dabbling water.

"**VROOOOOOIIIII! BEL! GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THE FUCKING BED! THE PLUMBER'S ON HIS WAY TO US!"**  
A plumber? What the fuck? My mind then went back to the dabbling sound and thoughts went clear. Tired I lifted my head and groaned. Oh no! At least 30 centimeters of my floor were covered in water. I looked around and discovered a wet area on my wallpaper wherefrom the water was dripping and dabbling. Well, at least the prince knew why there was a plumber on his way now. Still I wasn't very amused. Sighing I sat up and dipped my feet in the cold water. Great. Cursing I waded my room to my closet to get out some clothes. Suddenly a very interesting question came into my mind.  
Where the hell should the prince sleep now?!  
**  
**Fully dressed I looked at my room. The flow of water showed no intention to stop. Great. My expensive furniture and the electronics would be absolutely fucked up by the end of the day. There went my hard earned money.

"**VROOOIIII BEL!"**

"Shut the fuck up" I snarled at the shark. I was on the edge. "What's for breakfast?"

"**I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THAT!"  
**I shrugged my shoulders halfheartedly and headed for the kitchen. Why should I care about what Squalo was shouting. I could already smell the scent of pancakes. Those would be a lot better for my mood than the shark.

Still tired I scuffled into the kitchen and sat down on my regular chair at the kitchen table. None of the others were around. Could this day even get any worse?  
"Bel-chan" I heard Lussuria's gay (in both meanings) squeal. "You're awake so early?"  
He probably meant it in a nice way, but it was the absolute wrong thing to say to the prince at the moment. He seemed to notice this fact too, and passed me a staple of pancakes 'made with love'.  
Without any further words I started eating.

In the meanwhile the room started to fill up with the other varia members. First one After me was Squalo, followed by Froggy. I knew he stood up early on regular basis, but I thought he was out for his training with mukuro until 3 hours ago. Well, that wasn't my problem. As long as his late return didn't wake me up.  
Last one was Levi, who just picked up two plates, one for himself, one for the boss. Xanxus had the privilege to have breakfast in bed. I should train the frog to deliver my food to my room, too. The prince deserved this sort of special treatment.  
I already finished my second plate and stood up. The prince had been woken up far before 10 a.m. It was time to find my place to sleep. It wasn't very hard to decide whose room I would steal. Slightly grinning I made my way to Froggy's pond- I meant room. I had never seen it, but who cares? Now it was the prince's.

Laughing I pushed the door open. The room behind it was quite plain, like every other room in comparison to mine. I was nothing like Louis XIV but the prince still liked it noble and expensive. But I wouldn't have to stay here forever, and for this time I would endure sleeping in this unworthy and seemingly uncomfortable place. I threw myself on the frog's bed. It was way harder than mine. Did he hide a plank under his mattress? It was also way too little for the prince. Well I had to take what I could get. Make the best out of it, right? But well, easy talk right? I tried to cuddle myself into pillow and blanket. The pillow was too thin, the blanket too thick. Great. Quickly I pulled out the charge leaving just the cover. That would be thin enough. The charge ended up with the pillow. Way better.

But suddenly I noticed something. A little cardboard box with the letter written on by a thick marker. Private? Serioulsy. This was like writing " The PIN is 123456, but please keep it closed" on a safe. I grinned. Very interesting. What did the frog have to hide in there? Carefully I lifted the top. Curiously I peaked inside it almost fell back on the bed from laughing. Doujinshis? Seriously? I didn't on this. Anything but this. Even more interested and still laughing I took a closer look- and stopped laughing. Already the first cover was almost traumatizing. There were the boss and Squalo. Naked and obviously having sex. I didn't want to take any closer look. What kind of perverted things did the frog have in his room? A kind of strange interest forced me to open the little book. The content was the same as I thought, but the crazy thing about it was a little piece of paper stuck between one of THOSE pages. You could see how someone had put all sorts of photos into a scenery that looked really close to the one on the pages. And on another piece of paper the same someone- who had to be the frog- copied it in a manga like drawing style. I closed the book and put it back in the box, still looking slightly over the folded in books with titles like 10069, B26, 8059 and XS. What the last acronym stood for I had already found out and I was very sure that I didn't want to find out about the others. Enough shocking discoveries for a day. I put everything back into the box and pushed it back under its pillow. Just at the right time.  
"Senpai, what are you doing in my room" Fran asked monotone as always. He had just entered the room.  
I cringed subtly. That had been close.  
"It's the prince's room now, Froggy" I corrected him casually. "Mine is flooded so I'll take yours for this time. So would you be good and back off?"

Of course he didn't. He even went on and came further into the room. I decided to simply ignore his unworthy existence turned away from him and cuddled into the adapted blanket.  
Just a view minutes later I could feel another weight on the mattress. So this undeserving frog dared to lay in the same bed as the prince. Such an unbounded cheek. I turned around.  
"Either you're sleeping on the couch, or you're find a comfortable piece of floor for yourself or you are LEAVING for god's sake! Decide already!" I pointed at the door.  
The frog didn't even seem to think about it. Instead he moved into a lying position.  
"That's still my bad, senpai."

"The prince doesn't give a single fuck about that. Complain about me at Squa-"  
"**VOOOIIII Bel! I've been looking for you through the whole house!"  
**"Because..?"  
"Forget about it. You seem to have already found a place to sleep. But remember: This isn't your fucking room." With this he left.

How did he dare to stab the prince in the back like this? What was this kind of conspiracy between them? Froggy threw a triumphal look at me. For this time he had won.  
"But the prince deserves a lot of space, so stay on the edge, Froggy!"  
He said something like it would be way too cold and shit like that but I didn't even really listen to him. I didn't care. He shouldn't put up such a show about it since I even lent him a piece of cover. He should be fucking grateful!

Why did he even want to sleep right now? Why did I have to share a bed with him? There was no use thinking about it. I had to arrange with the situation.  
Halfway satisfied I watched the frog roll to the edge, before I turned around and fell fast asleep despite this uncomfortable situation.

When I woke up again I was shocked. This stupid frog didn't follow the prince's instructions. Contrary wise he lay less than 20 centimeters away from my face. But the most shocking fact was noticing my arm lying around him. Perplexed I stared at him. I didn't change anything about this disgusting situation. I just looked at him like this. Sleeping people always looked so peacefully. Why was that? Well, maybe because they weren't making any annoying comments and didn't break the royal property. Asleep he really looked…almost cute? A little like sleeping beauty. Why couldn't he just sleep those hundred years and stop going on the prince's nerves? Surely this wouldn't happen, so why should I let this frog sleep on.

"Hey! Froggy! Wake up!" I said into his ear. No reaction.

"Hey! Froggy! Wake up!" I almost screamed into his ear this time nudging his shoulder. Still no reaction. Why didn't this unworthy amphibian just wake up?! Did I kill him in my sleep? I lifted the blanket shortly. No blood. No knives. No organs. No, he seemed to be okay. Disappointing. He was capable of annoying me even in his sleep. I should have really killed him. Peaceful, don't make me laugh. Our little sleeping beauty fairytale princess. Sure. Wait a second. Why not being a little cliché? (Maybe because it's disgusting to kill a frog?) What was a little kiss all about? I didn't understand all that emotional, dramatic fuss people put up about it.  
Grudgingly I leaned down to him pressing a little meaningless kiss on his lips. And-guess what- the technique worked out. Well, a little different from what the prince was expecting. Who would have thought that this frog would kiss back. Surprised I stopped.  
"What the hell do you think you're doing, Froggy?" I asked digusted. Said frog didn't bother to answer my question, stood up from the bed, walked over to the small commode and lifted up a professional looking camera. He stopped and checked some pictures.  
"Senpai, couldn't you have done that kiss a little more…convincing?" he said in his typical emotionless voice.

STAB. Two of my knives found their way into Froggy's arm. "What do you mean?"

"Don't act the fool, Senpai. I'm pretty sure you asshole opened the box." WTF? Of course the prince did. And I also counted on him knowing that, but what the fuck did he mean?! Time to hide surprise with self-confidence and authority.

"Of course the prince did. An unworthy frog like you shouldn't keep any secrets and I guess I'm going to show the boss and his shark one of your little comics. They should be very interested." That would mean trouble for our little amphibian.  
I grinned, but the grin started to vanish a little when I noticed the look on Fran's face. Was there something like a smile in his eyes? Some sort of a little self-confident, sadistic smile. Something like my grin? Impossible!

"No, you won't" he simply answered.  
"And why does the frog think so?"  
"Because then, I would peach on you, Fake-Prince."

What? What did he mean? Asking I looked at him.

"I know that you embezzle quite sums of money on regularly basis since you take care of the finances. You're doing it quite well but not well enough and if the boss would take a closer look, he would notice it for sure."  
Shit! He had a point there. The expensive furniture weren't to be paid by this miserable salary the prince earned.

"Why exactly now?" I asked already fearing the worst. I hoped he would say something like 'I just noticed it a few days ago' or 'just like that', but of course I wasn't that lucky.  
"I kept it for this moment, so I don't have to explain so much."  
"Explain? Are you trying to blackmail the prince!?"  
"Our cute little genius-" STAB. He stayed completely unimpressed. "It isn't a secret that I don't like it here. To get away I need money."  
"Get to the point, Froggy!" I had the idea that he was beating about the bush on purpose. How he freaked me out. Another knife found its way into his arm.  
"I planned how to tell you and I'll stick to this plan." This little brat really had me on toast with this shit. At least about whatever he wanted to tell me.  
He went on.  
"I found some old documents in Mammon's old room. A lot of business concepts. Good ones, bad ones, stolen ones, ones that aren't quite legal…" He pointed in the box's direction. " Those fan mangas are very profitable."  
Did he just try to tell me that he planned to earn money with these perverted pipe dream? And that the idea originally was Mammon's? Well, if it was that profitable then the last point didn't sound so absurd, but:  
"WHO the hell should buy something like this?!"  
"Those people are called fangirls, Senpai. Back to the topic. Those things almost sell themselves. The more inventive and convincing, the better they sell. There doesn't even need to be that much story. About that you don't have to rack your brain."  
The worst seemed to be very close to reality.  
"Froggy. GET. TO. THE. FUCKING. POINT!"  
I didn't want him to talk on. The prince didn't want to have anything to do with all of this.  
"There are people who set us up. It's called a pairing or a ship I think. Our acronym for the insiders is B26. Don't ask me why I am a number. I don't have a clue. Anyway B26 isn't that utilized as for example XS, I mean Xanxus and Squalo. The point is I'd like you to act as a model for my Doujinshi. No, you have to do this! A few photos at times."  
He definitely lost his mind. He was absolutely crazy. And now he wanted the prince to pose for something like this? So that the frog could leave the Varia? To find myself detailed in one of those little books? And that-if I got that right- as the lover of the frog?  
"I'd rather die!"  
"Think about, what could possibly happen if the boss finds out and tell me your choice."  
I was absolutely against this. The prince wasn't some sort of a playboy bunny, who would pose for this shit. But…what else? My financial fraud should be kept secret. It was time for me to negotiate although I wasn't really in the fitting position.  
"I get 30% of your earnings. No one will ever find out about the money thing, capisce? And this model shit is only for one volume."  
"25%. One volume, except you beg for more."  
Knives number 5,6,7 and 8 found themselves in Froggy's shoulder.  
"Deal."  
And this was the moment when I first saw the frog smile. A natural, real smile. An expression of happiness and contentment. I resolved to memorize this sight.  
Fran put away the camera and went to the bedtable. He opened a drawer and passed me a piece of paper and an pen.  
"Sign that!"  
"Ushishi. Are you telling the prince that you were keeping this contract for months in there just for this day?" I grinned.  
"That's none of your business." Busted! My grin grew wider. Poor little frog. His first little defeat over me accomplished by blackmailing and a lot of waiting. Pathetic.  
Still when I signed I had the feeling to sell my royal soul to the devil. But that was just Froggy. This thing was still under my command and I would show that to him soon. For now it was time to play along.

~*+*~  
I hope you like it so far. If so, I'll translate more of it. See you~


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